If you need to find out more about addictions or want assist if you are an addict or somebody close to you is, then you could find out more about the UK’s most effective addictions details resource. It’s known as Rehab Guide and provides all manner of details on addictions dependence featuring drugs and alcohol problems. It supplies assistance on the effects of alcohol and drug misuse, rehabilitation, treatment centres, facts, statistics, laws and recovery. People impacted on by addiction can obtain impartial counsel. It should be the first place you go to beat a drink or drug habit.

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There is a large number of the population best by a dependence on drink across the globe. These cover health, psychologically, in terms of your private life and economically. Alcohol abuse could eventually, if left, bring about insanity or loss of life. A dependence on alcohol can be defeated nonetheless, with the correct attitude. This is along with the application of confirmed means, care and attention.

You can count on one of the country’s best rehab and detox centres in Britain. Then you can begin carrying on without drink. Victims of alcohol reliance can depend on the premiere help, guidance and advice from top professionals, and nurses, psychologists and counselors. It is their goal is to assist those that abuse booze and have a habit. The foundation runs a premiere alcohol therapy and rehab facility 24 hours a day, all year long. The foundation includes incentives and rehabilitation. There are also holistic treatments and psychotherapy, be it specific or group therapy. Abbeycare also takes in cognitive remedies and informs people on avoiding a relapse, alongside other aspects. Details on alcohol withdrawal treatment.

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A man is supposed to be “strong,” to support, to cope, and to plan in the aftermath of loss. His own pain must be put away.

Grief doesn’t discriminate between gender or culture. Our society has placed clear expectations and requirements upon our roles as men and women. Boys learn quickly what behaviour is considered inappropriate through such statements as, “Stand up and take it like a man.” “You’re the man of the house,” and the insidiously cruel “Big boys don’t cry.”

Male grief tends to have four main characteristics.

1. Moderated feelings
Men have deep feelings but don’t express openly, a more readily available feeling is anger. Men deal with their real feelings by redirecting their energies.

2. Cognitive Experience
Men work more with cognitions explaining their grief or with problem-focussed strategies that help them adapt and protect.

3. Problem-Focussed Activity
Men may adapt to loss by practical hands-on finding solutions to problems associated with the loss.

4. Desire for Solitude
Men don’t seek support groups. They want to master their own feelings and also reflect the more practical behaviour involved in adapting to a loss.

Societal Demands on Men
Men are expected to be “in control” of life’s demands and have to submit to the following demands society has placed on them. They’re expected to :-

remain emotionally and physically strong
always be rational
don’t cry or publicly mourn
don’t ask for support or affection — be self-sufficient
remain as non-expressive as possible
provide, not nurture
shake hands, don’t hug.

These generalisations continue to hold their power over men in pain. Let’s take the old myth about crying. The truth is it takes a truly strong man to be able to cry. Acknowledging that each of us grieve in very different ways can allow men to cope with loss and pain using their own various coping methods. We all grieve despite our gender, race or culture. We grieve because we have loved and, through our journey, we can be healed.

Tears are a gift
Grieving men need to hear that their tears are a gift to help their healing. Men have historically been fobbed off and denied this important gift. We need to open up to how men grieve and start sharing thoughts and feelings in a more meaningful, supportive way.

The realisation that grief can be a constructive, healing process, which can be shared with others, can inspire us all to be intentional in our grief process.

Susanna Duffy is a Civil Celebrant, mythologist and grief counsellor. She is a creator and guide of Rites of Passage for personal ceremonies and civic functions. Website: http://celebrant.yarralink.com

Whether you suffer from the death of a loved one, the death of a not-so-loved one, divorce, breakup, being fired from your job, sexual or spouse abuse, emotional trauma, loss of trust or any other significant loss, the grief you feel can be paralyzing. Some people suffer from losses that happened 20 years ago, and some suffer from the losses we all sustained on 9/11. We are all grievers.

Grief is the conflicting mass of human emotion that we experience following any change in a familiar pattern of behavior. Grief just doesn’t “take time,” there are small and steady steps necessary to “say goodbye” and go on living.

When you can say good-bye to your loss and are able to move on to life, end your isolation from those you love, and
regain joy and passion and celebration, then you have healed.

When you heal, you will…

* Be able to mention important life-losses without tears or fears.

* No longer need to talk about the past with anger.

* Say goodbye to loved ones, and to less-than-loved ones.

* Let go of those images which cause you to doubt yourself and your ability.

* Project a positive self-image to yourself and to the world.

* Raise your kids with love and confidence.

* Learn how to forgive those who have hurt you in the past.

* Freely embrace those who love you.

And then your losses will be your life-teachers forever.
And then you will journey from mourning to morning…

Dr. Mel Glazer is a Grief Recovery Specialist working in private practice with grievers all across America. You can visit his website at http://www.yourgriefmatters.com. Dr. Glazer has served as a Rabbi, Author, and Speaker for over thirty years, and he is recognized as a pioneer in the art of using our life-losses to help us learn life-lessons. Some examples of loss include:
the death of a loved one, or a less-than-loved-one; divorce; serious physical, mental or emotional illness; financial distress; the end of a serious relationship; when a child leaves home for college; and even the death of a pet. Each loss creates a grief reaction, and we must be able to complete our relationship with our loss before we can move past it. He is widely published, and his upcoming book, And God Created Hope: How Our Favorite Bible Stories Lead Us From Mourning To Morning (2006), follows in the footsteps of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. He lives in Stroudsburg PA, where he is the Rabbi of Temple Israel of the Poconos.

Regression therapy is a therapeutic process that uses one’s earlier life experiences as source material to resolve current problems. This concept is similar to psychodynamic therapy. However, regression therapy is more solution-focused, whereas psychodynamic therapy is more interested in the process and the experience. Past life therapy encompasses all the same techniques and theories as regression therapy, however, the boundaries are lifted from the conscious mind, enabling the client to explore a past-life.

Regressing someone back to his childhood or a past-life is by no means a phenomenon. If you listen carefully, people regress all the time, whether it’s at a casual party or standing in line at a grocery store. In a therapeutic setting, a therapist will help a client regress and to make the unconscious conscious. By using different therapeutic techniques such as hypnotherapy, guided imagery, relaxation exercises or just talk-therapy, a client can be regressed into a past memory that may be influencing his present life in a negative way.

Unlike many traditional talk-therapy modalities, hypnotic techniques help bypass the client’s analytical mind, thus enabling the therapist to elicit forgotten memories, including suppressed and repressed issues. The more unconscious identification there is, the less our ego is able to assert and defend itself against the inner compulsions and beliefs. Many forgotten memories, especially traumatic ones, are instilled in the unconscious mind. We all have defense mechanisms that shut down our innate ability to tap into our emotions due to our inability to cope with stress, fear, or pain. Compartmentalizing or trying to forget painful experiences is usually our natural tendency. After years of repressing these issues, the actual facts of the event and the emotions that are associated with the event become fragmented – waiting to be unleashed and reconciled.

Studies show that generally a strong experience of catharsis is needed to alleviate one from unwanted beliefs, complexes, or destructive behaviors. Pioneer of psychology Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) learned hypnosis from Joseph Breuer (1842-1925), who had treated a young woman suffering from neurotic symptoms, which they diagnosed as hysteria in 1880. Breuer had the patient discuss past events in a state of deep hypnosis. She was able to recall traumatic events from her childhood, which she could not remember in her conscious state. She was able to integrate the experiences and connect them to her emotions. The end result was that her neurotic symptoms disappeared. Breuer and Freud’s earliest technical efforts were referred to as the “cathartic method” (Brueur and Freud, 1893-1895). Sources say that Freud was not good with hypnosis and found it to be confusing and embarrassing and his success rate with such hypnotic techniques was very poor. He finally abandoned hypnosis and worked mainly with free association for memory recall and to explore the unconscious. Freud’s condemnation of hypnosis combined with the growing reputation of psychoanalysis caused the medical profession to reject hypnosis. Milton Erickson (1901-1980) was trained as psychiatrist, but was most known for his innovative techniques in hypnotherapy, which helped revive hypnosis. It was not until the middle of the 20th century that hypnosis was again accepted as a valuable technique in therapy and for medical and clinical applications.

The framework in facilitating a proper regression is to encourage a client to reenact or experience a traumatic event to as if it were happening and being experienced again. The client is guided to stay focused on all the sensations and feelings that come with the experience on a physical and emotional level. The objective is to get the client passed the point of his conflict, confusion or fear. What makes the experience different and healing for the client is he is able to got honor his true emotions and perceptions of the event without being judged or criticized. The therapist provides a safe space for the client to reconnect and integrate his emotions with the event. When the client moves through his discomfort, this creates the turning point where the client releases or gains better understanding with whatever issues have been constricting him.

Today, there are still mixed opinions about the efficacy of regression therapy. There are non-believers who feel that regression therapy is unnecessary and that the therapist is planting information in the client’s mind. Some feel that it is like brainwashing. These are just myths caused by misinformation and inept therapists. Whether a client is under hypnosis or in a trance, he is fully conscious and in control at all times during the session. He can reject whatever is being said to him. In a properly facilitated session, a therapist will elicit or evoke information that only comes from the client. Every experience is subjective. The only way to truly judge whether or not regression therapy is effective is by one’s own experience. The most important ingredient of any type of therapy is the interpersonal relationship. The technique is secondary.

Ray Doktor is a clinical hypnotherapist, master past-life therapist, spiritual counselor, and life coach. He has a bachelor’s degree in human behavior and a master’s degree in Psychology.

Ray’s education included the opportunity to have been personally mentored by world-renowned therapist, Dr. Morris Netherton. This training included assisting Dr. Netherton in conducting workshops and lectures around the world. Ray has lectured and provided demonstrations at workshops on stress management, sexual abuse, trauma, addictions, health issues and surgeries, prenatal and birth, past-lives, and spirituality.

Ray has been in private practice for over 10 years, working with a multitude of clients. He has worked at various clinics, shelters, and crisis intervention facilities. He currently volunteers at the Hollywood Sunset Counseling Department. His philosophy of practice includes recognizing individuality and the dynamics of expression, both on an individual and group level.

For more information on Ray or his work, please visit his site at http://www.wholeminds.com

During interrogation, the cops noted that Nancy was talking rapidly and nobody could interrupt her. Also, she was making jokes and laughing so loud. She further indicated to them that she was on her way to meet the President and his top officials about her invention that could cure the oil crunch. She eventually ended up in the emergency room where she was diagnosed and treated for bipolar disorder after intensive evaluation.

Bipolar disorder or manic-depression is manifested by highs and lows. When a patient like Nancy is on the manic side, there is a persistent feeling of euphoria or irritability associated with lack of need for sleep, excessive energy, agitation, fast and loud speech, increase in goal-directed activities such as spending sprees and establishing businesses with no appropriate plan, and hypersexuality.

Patients with this disorder develop poor judgment and impulsivity. They become irritable and can lash out easily even if not provoked. Some patients have delusions of grandeur. When this happens, patients think that they have special powers, talents, and influence.

When not manic, patients either feel normal or depressed. Depression in bipolar disorder has the same manifestation as major depression that consists of feelings of sadness associated with neurovegetative signs and symptoms such as inability to sleep, eat, and concentrate. Energy level is also impaired. In addition, patients experience a feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness, and helplessness. Suicidal ideation may ensue.

For individuals who develop mania, does it always mean that they suffer from bipolar disorder?

Not necessarily. Mania can be caused by various medical and neurologic conditions. For instance, multiple sclerosis and stroke can present with manic symptoms. Moreover, medications and street drugs may precipitate mania. Steroids, cocaine, and amphetamine are some examples. Even some antidepressants can induce mania.

So when a person shows mania, the physician usually does intensive evaluation to rule out medical, neurologic, and medication-induced conditions before diagnosing bipolar disorder. This process is important because the treatment varies depending upon the cause. Once other conditions are ruled out, then bipolar disorder can be safely diagnosed and treated.

Copyright © 2004. Dr. Michael G. Rayel – author (First Aid to Mental Illness-Finalist, Reader’s Preference Choice Award 2002) psychiatrist, and inventor of Oikos Game: An EQ Game. For info, visit http://www.oikosgame.com and http://www.soardime.com

My aunt is pain free for now and completely unconscious, as she has been since my arrival last night. It seems that she decided this is the time to leave the planet, and has refused food for a week now. The staff seem to go along with her wishes. So we wait for the inevitable. Meanwhile her breathing is labored and you hear a constant gurgling, since she has a challenge swallowing. The staffs of nurses come in periodically and check on her, readjust her medication or oxygen supply. It’s a process I hope I don’t have to go through. We have al wished my Aunt Mary peace and said she can go if she wants to. We all told her we love her. The nursing staff suggested that she might not even make it to today, but like Terri Shivo, she is hanging on a few more days.

I feel somewhat helpless, since I can’t do anything to help the situation. This is the first time as an adult that I’ve had warning that death is impending. The other lives I’ve been associated with all left suddenly. My best friend committed suicide, and I found him. My grandparents each died suddenly after a short trip to the hospital, as did my dad. My mom was killed in a head-on collision, coming to volunteer at this hospital almost 15 years ago. My sister had an aneurism and died instantly 2 years ago.

I’ve had a lot of loss in my life. Even as I type this I feel tears welling up in my eyes. It’s not a wonder I’ve been feeling the sadness associated with loss lately. I’m sure I haven’t fully dealt with the loss of my sister and maybe not loss in general. I feel the aloneness from my siblings, that is I feel alone compared to them. They seem to have their own life that is mostly separate form mine.

Maybe the lack of rest is catching up with me, since I’m yawning and my eyes are watering. I’m taking advantage of being here to catch up with some friends as well. Wayne Dyer says friends are God’s way of making up for your relatives. Probably right.

So here I sit waiting. Sooner or later my aunt will take her last breath. I was hoping to have a conscious talk with her, but that may never happen. I’m not sure what radio station we’re listening to there are no commercials, and an eclectic variety of tunes. I finally decided to turn on Lawrence Welk on PBS. Even though I really didn’t like the program, my aunt always loved watching it.

After 10 hours of my vigil, I told my aunt that she will be ok, and we will as well. They say the last thing to go is the hearing. Shortly thereafter my Aunt Mary did transition. The nursing staff came in to reposition her and did a suctioning of her throat to clear it. I had left the room for a few minutes to give my aunt her privacy. I returned and the nursing staff came in to check her vital signs. Shortly thereafter her breathing slowed then stopped. This was a first for me. I’ve never been present for a human being when they transitioned. I felt sad, but I knew she was at peace.

I Don’t know what to feel. Men often disconnect their feelings for survival, at least in their mind. I’m no different. My feelings come and go, at least on a conscious level. Even though I have studied how to deal with emotions, I still have normal resistance to dealing with them. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if I really don’t have unexpressed emotions, or if I have actually learned acceptance as life happens. I suspect it’s a combination. People often mask their feelings and put on a face to show the world. Sometimes it’s due to not knowing what to do, sometimes fear of completely falling apart. We will find a time when we will deal with our emotions. It will happen when we feel safe. It needs to happen. We often continue our life as though nothing happened. I find that writing helps me to express myself. I encourage clients to do the same. Try it yourself. If you need help expressing your feelings, find someone who can help you. Friends, family often can be supportive. Sometimes however a professional coach or therapist is needed. If you need help, find it. Life changes, and if we want better results we need to do something different. It’s worth your effort to do the emotional healing to create the life you want.

John Seeley Life Coach~Speaker and Author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. http://www.getunstuck.com

John Seeley is President/CEO of Blue Moon Wonders and HeartFire Seminars, specialize in educational & personal growth workshops and products.

John grew up in the Midwest the youngest of five children. He has worked all over the country for Fortune 500 companies. John has been involved in personal growth & coaching since 1990. He works with individuals and business executives who have a commitment to making positive changes and awakening a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in their lives and companies. John is a catalyst for change your life and has been in the lives of many people. John’s books Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life! and Get Unstuck! The Companion Workbook are showing people the steps to take to get their lives moving and create the life they really want.

John has participated in various individual and group experiential trainings for the past 15 years. Today he spends his time showing others how to do the same

The name Borderline Personality Disorder originated in 1938 by Adolph Stern. He was describing a group of patients that didn’t quite fit an existing diagnosis; patients that were classified as past the neurotic stage but not quite psychotic. However these days this disorder is seen in a different way but the name BPD has stuck.

BPD is relatively common, affecting 10-14% of the general population. Women commonly suffer from depression more often than men and the frequency of BPD in women is two to three times greater than men. Nearly 20% of psychiatric hospitalizations stem from BPD.

While people that suffer with depression or bipolar disorder typically endure the same mood for several weeks at a time, a person with BPD can experience depression and anxiety that may last only an hour or at most, a day.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

• Impulsive aggression

• Self injury

• Strong feelings of anxiety

• Feelings of low self worth

• Drug or alcohol abuse

• Impulsive behaviors

• Feelings of being misunderstood

• Experience unstable relationships

Sometimes people suffering from BPD view themselves essentially as bad people or unworthy. This mood instability and poor self-image can bring on bouts of anger, eating disorders, panic attacks and anxiety. Very intense emotional turmoil appears to be a way of life for those afflicted by it.

However, often times a person with BPD can present as a bright, intelligent individual with a warm, friendly nature. They can maintain this appearance for a number of years until their defense mechanism breaks down, usually because of a very stressful situation like a relationship breakup or death of a loved one.

They may feel isolated and empty which may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone. People with BPD often formulate highly unstable relationship patterns. While their relationships with family and friends can be very intense their attitude can change dramatically and suddenly from great admiration and love to profound anger and distaste. Often times they will form an immediate attachment to another person but when even a slight conflict or separation occurs they shift suddenly to the other extreme and accuse the other person of not really caring about them at all. They are highly sensitive to any sign (real or imagined) of rejection and react quickly with anger and distress when their expectations are not met.

Over the years treatments for BPD have improved with group and individual psychotherapy at least partially effective for a great number of patients. Talking about present challenges and past experiences with an empathetic and accepting therapist on a consistent and regular basis has proven effective. Patients are encouraged to talk about their feelings rather than expel them in their usual self-defeating manner.

Sometimes medications such as antidepressants or lithium carbonate are helpful in treatment of BPD and brief hospitalization may be necessary during acutely stressful episodes or if self-destructive behavior threatens to erupt.

The goals of ongoing therapy and/or treatments would be to increase an individual’s tolerance of anxiety as well as increase self awareness and build more stability into relationships. With increased self awareness and introspection, it is hoped that individuals with BPD will be able to change rigid patterns of behavior set earlier in life which in turn will help prevent these patterns from repeating themselves in future generations.

Lois Galloway is a Professional Coach. As the founder of Discover Yourself Coaching, Lois acknowledges that each person is extraordinary in their own right and that having a personal coach will encourage and empower individuals to gain clairty and move forward to become their very best! To learn more about Discover Yourself Coaching, please follow the link to Lois’s web site and remember to sign up for the monthly newsletters. http://www.discoveryourselfcoaching.com

I want to think about it. I want to think about what to do with it. If the person who just said or did something that got my anger started, especially if it’s my husband or my daughter, I most especially stuff it down until I can figure out what to say. Often the moment gets lost entirely. I find myself grumpy or tense ten minutes later, ruminating on my anger like a cow chewing cud, and my opportunity to express myself feels lost forever.

Not so. What I’m describing here, it seems, is me beating myself up because I didn’t know what to do with the anger I was feeling. What’s sometimes worse is when my husband is angry. At me.

I can handle his anger if it’s towards others. I get behind him, confirm his righteous indignation, his enemy is my enemy. I’m a great team player. So where am I when he’s angry at me? What team am I on?

The first split second I feel his coolness, I’m on team Rori. I get my back up, I protect my back, I face off. I’m the star goalie, defender of Rori, no angry words could possibly hurt me, I never, ever, ever did anything wrong. Or I did everything wrong. I bounce from anger at him for being angry with me to anger at myself for causing such unbearable conflict. I blame myself for severing love, even for this moment. It doesn’t occur to me until sometimes hours later that acting as if I’m on team Our Relationship would not only be better for the relationship, but for me, too. All I need to do is share my anger.

We all know from reading every book on communication ever written that we’re supposed to communicate in “I feel” messages, not “You did” messages. And yet — How do you do that? Most of us don’t even know what that looks like, much less how to get the words out. Not one woman (including me) that I’ve met has even seen it in our lifetime, except maybe in the movies. Not only do we not know what it feels like to really talk in “I feel” messages, we hardly ever even know what it is we even feel!

Those of you who have been to my workshops know that a big part of my work is helping women access their feelings and then express those feelings in words a man can hear.

One of the emotions we women have the most trouble with is anger, and anger is also the emotion we often seem to have the most of! We are all angry a good part of the time. Perhaps it’s disappointment, or irritation, or pure rage. Some of us have gotten seriously sick trying to hold in so much anger. Some of us can only attract men who offend us, who make us angry, because we are so angry.

Putting a smiley face on our anger just makes it all worse, because on top of the authentic angry inferno anyone who stands next to us can sense (no matter how dense we think they are) we’re adding the disrespect of trying to hide it from them. We’re pretending it’s not even there — though it’s like a great big elephant sticking out of our chests. That angry elephant trumpets through our words no matter how hard we try to disguise it. When we pretend, we appear at best like automatons, at worst like liars. We can seem completely out of touch with ourselves and at the same time complain about how men can’t get in touch with their feelings!

So, what to do?

1. Agree that anger, even murderous rage, is just a feeling. It’s just energy. And it’s most likely covering pain. Because anger truly does feel better than pain, it’s a very worthwhile and helpful emotion.

2. Admit to ourselves that what we’re feeling is anger, and that it belongs to us, not to the man across the dinner table. Admit that it most likely has absolutely nothing to do with that man across the table. It may be anger from the last relationship, the last two dozen relationships, or our relationships with our parents. And then admit that if it is about the man across the table, and he’s said or done something clearly hurtful, you not only don’t have to tolerate it — you can handle the next step!. Which is:

3. Share it. This is not about venting, getting it out, or “communicating.” It’s about sharing your feeling state in order to both keep yourself healthy and deepen your relationship with another human being. Say “I’m feeling angry”. Period. If he asks you why — say “I feel really angry. And hurt. And now I’m feeling confused. And now I feel a little silly even telling you”. Or “Ouch — that really hurt — it feels terrible”. (Notice I didn’t say “You made me feel terrible” or “That makes me feel terrible”, I just said “I feel terrible”.) It may seem like a little thing, and yet my work is based on the idea that these little things add up to big things, and then pretty soon your life has changed for the better and you’ve already lived through all those big changes that right now seem so terrifying.

Learn how to go a few rounds with him, responding in the moment — even if it gets to you screaming “Now I’m so angry I feel like hitting you! I don’t want to be here anymore!” and leaving the space.

If you have to do this a lot, you may want to look at why you’ve chosen to stick around with this man at all — which brings us right back to the question of why we hide the stuff in the first place. Is it because we’re afraid to look at what’s really going on in the relationship, what’s really going on in our hearts?

I know it seems too simplistic to just share your feeling state. We want to explain, to help him understand. Actually, we just want to slap him around. We want to punish him. And that gets us, and the relationship, nowhere.

So where does all this sharing of feelings get us? Every single woman I’ve taught to do this (including myself) has told me that it shifts the conversation. It shifts the entire relationship. Where there was once tension and a feeling of detachment, there’s now a feeling of play and connection. Sharing our feeling state is an outrageous act of bravery. Any man in the room can see that.

And any man can feel the utter authenticity and vulnerability of it. Any man can feel how much you must trust and respect him to be able to open up like that, without attacking him. Without so much as mentioning his name. And any woman who does this, even a little, experiences a freeing up inside.

All of a sudden all the pretense goes away, and the fear of dropping the pretense goes away. All of a sudden the need to defend, the need to be guarded goes away, and the fear of dropping our guard goes away. There’s suddenly nothing between you and your man. He can feel it. You can feel it.

Where it goes from there is out of your hands. And that, once you get used to it, is liberating. It opens the door and parts the curtain and gives you the chance to really let love walk in. And then it does.

In her packed Los Angeles workshops, relationship coach, author, speaker and seminar leader Rori Gwynne teaches women the completely original, controversial, simple-to-do techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own now-glorious eighteen-year marriage around.

Visit Rori at http://www.CoachRori.com to get free Tip Sheets, to sign up for the free, powerful CoachRori Newsletter, and to see how Rori can help you Turn the Relationship You Have Into the Relationship you Want.